The Ten Commandments
Fourth Commandment
Honoring Parents
Review
1st Commandment
“You shall have no other gods before me.”
2nd Commandment
“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain…”
3rd Commandment
Remember the Sabbath day
4th Commandment
“Honor your father and your mother, so that [The only commandment with a promise attached to it] you may live long [Prosperous] in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
-Exodus 20:12
“Honor”
(Hebrew)
- To make heavy.
- To put High Weight/Value upon.
- Give your parents weighty value.
In my experience, this 4th Commandment is the most controversial and difficult of
the Ten Commandments.
Not many people argue about the others.
How do I honor?
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, [“in connection with” the Lord] for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, [Greek word can mean also “Parents”] do not exasperate [Don’t provoke] your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” [In BOTH words and actions]
-Ephesians 6:1-4
Whatever the combination above
“Life and Relationships” are complicated and will include hurts of many different kinds.
The Three Categories of Honoring/Respect
1.Owed
2.Connected to a Role
3.Earned
1. Owed
Whether they are honorable or not.
Human dignity.
They are made in God’s image.
Everyone is owed the honor of not being Disrespected.
2. Connected to a role
Whether they are honorable or not.
Don’t ever Disrespect others.
ie. Parent, Child, Spouse, Police Officer, President, Teachers, Boss, Pastor, Coach, etc.
“Show/Give” Respect
3. Earned
It is a fact that as individuals, others either have earned respect/honor or they have not. (Complicated)
How to Honor Parents who are
Acting in a Dishonorable Way
Do our responsibilities change when we grow up?
1.When you are grown up, you no longer have to “Obey” parent(s).
2.Nor do you have to “Enable” your parent(s).
3.Learn to say “No” with proper boundaries.
How to give Honor/Respect to those
who have not earned it or deserve it.
•Avoid acting out in ways that are Dishonorable. (slander, gossip, being mean…)
•Be assertive, but don’t be aggressive or passive-aggressive with them.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
-Romans 12:18
Gaslighting
A slang term that describes the act of manipulating someone into questioning their reality.
Turning things around and blaming the other person.
Ie. Parents guilting children into believing that they are acting sinful/wrong.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, [“in connection with” the Lord] for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, [Greek word can mean also “Parents”] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
-Ephesians 6:1-4
“I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. 2 I will glory in the Lord; let the afflicted [Hurt, damaged, injured] hear and rejoice. [Being blessed by the strength of others who have been hurt, etc] 3 Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. 4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears… 7 The angel of the Lord [Jesus] encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them…18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
-Psalm 34:1-18
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